A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

I always spend time exploring the customs and attitudes of the countries I'm using for locations, and interviewing the people who live there. I've visited over 90 countries thus far.

Small mistakes, the lack of care, little accidents, and somewhere a tipping point is passed and things go badly wrong. Expedition history brims with tragedies built out of incremental missteps.

If you're with someone who enjoys having people play hard to get, maybe that's the way you're supposed to do it then.

My earliest memories as a child are listening to Beatles records, and they are a big part of how I've learned to write pop songs.

Useless as a pulled tooth.

In government and out, there are vast realms of the bureaucracy dedicated to seeking more information, in perpetuity if need be, in order to avoid taking action.

In the career world we are downsizing. That means the one person that will keep their job will do three or four jobs for the same amount of money. You have to be that way these days.

OK, he and Katie fell in love, they're getting married. Why is this in the news? Why is this a big deal? Is there something unusual about meeting someone and falling in love?

If all your life means to you is water running over rocks, then photograph it, but I want to create something that would not have existed without me.

In every cry of every man, In every infant's cry of fear, In every voice, in every ban, The mind-forg'd manacles I hear.