A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Meditation on the Holy Scripture is life to your soul.

Life is difficult and those who make us laugh are angels.

When necessity speaks it demands.

I became an actor because I love solving problems. I'm a big crossword puzzle person. I love doing research. One of the reasons I became Jewish is because I love text study.

I'm not afraid of writing about sensitive subjects, but I want to be careful how I do so and I know not all readers will think I have been, of course.

I found myself within a forest dark.

With mindfulness, we are learning to observe in a new way, with balance and a powerful disidentification.

All of us can create if we allow ourselves to.

...experience should warn us that tough and unpopular decisions are only made under intense political pressure produced by urgent necessity.