A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

I do not take orders from women.”“My men do not have a similar problem.” Lada lifted a hand. The man fell, a crossbow bolt sticking out of his chest.

A few men’s fight for the survival is stronger than a nation’s fight for the wealth.

This is all you need in life: a computer, a camera, and a cat.

Self-discovery is a very advanced art. What we're doing basically is screwing around with what you're made up of. We're taking awarenesses, feelings, ideas and impressions and changing them.

Man wishes woman to be peaceable, but in fact she is essentially warlike, like the cat.

Every fictioneer re-invents the world because the facts, things or people of the received world are unacceptable.

I prefer Christmas, which is everybody's holiday. It's just my nature. I don't like to be zeroed in on en masse.

I've found that people with flexible ears are the least rigid in life. Best way to find yourself a perfect partner may be as easy as squeezing their ears.

I learned never to listen to acting teachers because they don't know what the hell they're talking about.

The old brown hen and the old blue sky, Between the two we live and die The broken cartwheel on the hill.