A good banana daiquiri is hard to come by. I've only ever found one place in this country that makes a proper one, and that's in Leeds.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Cosmic Ordering is a licence to print money.

The man who believes that honesty is the best policy is not an honest man.

Most of our childhood is stored not in photos, but in certain biscuits, lights of day, smells, textures of carpet.

The closer you get to what's happening in TV now and the ways it's evolving, the more danger you get into.

We shall never have more time. We have, and always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going... Concentrate on something useful.

Most business problems can be solved if you can teach yourself to look beyond the dollar sign.

To the average mind popular music would mean compositions vulgarly conceived and commonplace in their treatment. That is absolutely false.

I don't want to talk about the specifics of other people's performances compared with my own. I'd never do that.

To accept grace is to admit failure, a step we are hesitant to take. We opt to impress God with how good we are rather than confessing how great he is.

Some illusions...are the shadows of great truths.