A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word 'poo.' You can't beat a good poo joke.

I am very short-sighted, and if I don't like a situation I take my glasses off.

I wouldn't say I was grumpy. It's more pathological - I have seismic tantrums. I get red in the face and cry at least three times a week, and I have to lie down and have a nap afterwards.

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

Anyone who has dead straight hair wants curls.

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.

Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.

Well, I'm not good with sliminess. I hate the thought of creatures that have slime on them or creatures that leave a slimy trail. At home, the sight of a slug can bring up my breakfast.

I'm a schizophrenic mix of wannabe glamourpuss and absolute slob, and my style is very much magistrate-meets-barmaid.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.

I love fashion, but I don't come from a background of loving clothes, and I remember feeling badly dressed from a young age.

Even Damocles developed a routine.

In the matters of your life don't take orders, take decisions.

We born on date we ll die on date but not the same date or same day never.

The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they're right if you love to be with them all the time.

Writing a book is not a small undertaking, but God placed it on my heart to trust Him with such a project.

The only way government bureaucrats know of keeping prosperity going is to inflate some more - to increase the deficit or to pump more money into the system.

Man appears to be the missing link between anthropoid apes and human beings.

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

I don't think an artist should keep themselves categorized in a specific box.

I feel much more physically connected to my voice, and I like the physicality of the voice, and how the voice can physically occupy a song.