A good marriage is like Dr Who's Tardis: small and banal from the outside but spacious and interesting from within.

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?

It is a pity that so often the only way to treat girls like people seems to be to treat them like boys.

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.

What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

It means you got your glow on." He smiled, hovering right alongside me. "It means you're on your way.

If you take "Cheers" and "Seinfeld" and watch the early shows, they're kind of awkward. It took a while for the writers and everything to gel.

I became an ecologist long before I had ever heard the word.

What is really momentous and all-important with us is the present, by which the future is shaped and colored.

The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.

I love it when a man cooks; it's one of those points that makes me adore a guy. I think it's so romantic and I feel cared for when a man cooks.

Bring a lawsuit against a man who can pay; the poor man's acts are not worth the expense

I couldn't find a group that wanted to do what I wanted to do. No one was really up for it.

Daytime sleep is like the sin of the flesh; the more you have the more you want, and yet you feel unhappy, sated and unsated at the same time.