A good storyteller never lets the facts get in the way.

If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.

We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work - and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock.

Goodnight, thank you, and may your God go with you.

My church accepts all denominations - fivers, tenners, twenties.

Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.

I don't go out of my way to be outrageous, I just go out of my way to look at things.

It's the behaviour of your company and its people that form your reputation, and your reputation is your brand

If he once failed as a father, it was a noble fail.

All these were honoured in their generations and were the glory of their times.

Blessed are they who know how to shine on one's gloom with their cheer.

The only thing I change mainly is my sneakers. I love sneakers. But everything's sort of black or jeans. Jeans, always.

All you need to know about Arafat was that he insisted on wearing a pistol when he addressed the UN General Assembly. And all you need to know about the UN, I suppose, is that they let him.

When fewer workers have unions, the standard of living falls for everyone and the gap between the rich and poor grows.

That will be my focus: building a culture that moves away from militarism.

My mum is incredibly intelligent.

Any woman whose I.Q. hovers above her body temperature must be a feminist.

What region of the earth is not full of our calamities?