A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

You cannot see the past that did not happen any more than you can foresee the future.

Age had drained the color from her eyes the way darkness drains the color from everything

A real pastor will always show respect for people.

My goal is to do something outrageous every day.

The rise of the iPod meant that digital music became the norm, It's sad, but you can still find the real stuff out there if you look for it!

The beautiful always retains the freshness of novelty, while the astonishing soon grow tiresome.

I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball - he might grab mine.

If I want to keep making films for a few more years, I probably should be willing to adapt. I've sort of evolved into the filmmaker that I am because of natural selection anyway.

Every single line means something.

My arms are up to the elbows in blood. That is the most terrible thing that lies in my soul.