A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?

All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian.

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

No Taxes. Let's just tip the government 15% if they do a good job.

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying.

Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman.

Deep down, I happen to be very shallow.

Respect yourself and others will come to respect you. That is true about all of us, but especially true about women. That is the meaning of honour.

I regret to say I'munable to reply to your unexpressed desires.

We choose our present moment. The choices we make here and now is what shape our reality tomorrow.

Now relax, think positively and begin --- the smile of success awaits you.

Experience has taught me, when I am shaving of a morning, to keep watch over my thoughts, because, if a line of poetry strays into my memory, my skin bristles so that the razor ceases to act.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

The "religion of pity" to which people would like to convert us- oh, we know well enough the hysterical little men and women who need this religion at present as a veil and an adornment!

You have to find that love within yourself. If you love yourself, you feel good about yourself, and sports help you feel good about yourself.

I think it's naïve to think white people aren't singing along directly!

The America that has flourished for more than two centuries is being quietly but steadily dismantled by the Obama administration.