A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome.

If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people.

I think I am slowly becoming an anarchist, that this is only another label for my privateness, and I think that you will understand this in the sense of being against collectivity.

Relativism is neither a method of fighting, nor a method of creating, for both of these are uncompromising and at times even ruthless; rather, it is a method of cognition.

Cognition is not fighting, but once someone knows a lot, he will have much to fight for, so much that he will be called a relativist because of it.

Great God of the Ants, thou hast granted victory to thy servants. I appoint thee honorary Colonel.

A short life is better for mankind, for a long life would deprive man of his optimism.

Robots do not hold on to life. They can't. They have nothing to hold on with - no soul, no instinct. Grass has more will to live than they do.

Nothing is stranger to man than his own image.

Much melancholy has devolved upon mankind, and it is detestable to me that might will triumph in the end...

Quite obviously a cat trusts human beings; but she doesn't trust another cat because she knows better than we do.

Anja? What is to tell? Everywhere I look I'm seeing Anja... From my good eye, from my glass eye, if they're open or they're close, always I'm thinking on Anja.

Neither of us, it turns out, has been the only one who lost someone she loved.

It's up to each of us to help create a better world for our children.

People are concerned, here again, about life, and haven't given a whole lot of attention to how you make fathers responsible for the lives they bring into the world.

Charles Darwin wrote a famous book in 18 [gibberish]. And that book was an interesting book, cuz it was called "Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-You".

When I was about 25, I went to a hand reader, this Indian guy in a funky neighborhood. He said: The height of your success won't happen until you're in your late 40s.

Perfect night, wasn't it?" "It could have been." I smiled up at him. "But you were there.

I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.

Can you imagine Simon as a kid? His imaginary friends probably never wanted to play with him.

It might be more difficult because you haven't got a book or a prop, but for the most part I like to write unpaid... initially and my own stories.