A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

Faith is a living, daring confidence in God's grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times.

REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.

What 'Twilight' gave me was years to consider how I wanted to work otherwise.

A great start to the perfect day - a world-class workout at the gym... It's hard to feel miserable after a great workout.

Riches don't make a man rich, they only make him busier.

What has happened by chance is often difficult to repeat when it is sought deliberately. Chance is a genius.

Many artists have said that when life itself becomes fully conscious, art as we know it will vanish.

Ballet.something pure in this crazy world

There's just something about me and my persona that's a little bit bigger than life and ridiculous at times.

I love my country more than anything. I spent 12 years in the United States Marine Corps. I know what it means to defend this country.