A happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Lexi glanced around the studio. She heard him in the bathroom. The door was slightly ajar, but she couldn't see him. "A pity, " she whispered.

In truly deep darkness, all kinds of strange things were possible.

Keep your head up and heart open. And make "Thank You" your mantra of life!

Write bylaws in a simple language—no one needs an advanced degree to understand them.

I been through some things but I worked hard to get to where I'm at.

We're not moving fast enough with where things are going.

A greater absurdity cannot be thought of than a morose, hardhearted, covetous, proud, malicious Christian.

I will take my leave of you, but I will remember you always because you are the ones who encouraged me and lifted me up high. I will remember you forever, forever, even in the afterlife.

I started working out with a trainer and I immediately saw results.

If you are truly fearless as a performer, than you don't fear kids or dogs.