A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Too trying, this is all far too trying, Parma thought. An ogre I may outwit or a Rahg I may defeat, but a horde of frightened villagers? Auay! How does Brandegan put up with it?

It is the blessing of dumb work done close to the earth-one gritty minute at a time, we move forward.

If you are single and don't want to be. The only regret is staying that way.

He wanted to tell her that if it were simply a matter of crossing the river Styx and trading places with Beau, he'd be gone in a heartbeat.

I do love the ceremony of putting on a record but I don't have space for a vinyl collection.

What I learned on the road. Above all else - to love my native land.

Be careful about a policy generated with enthusiasm in the rush of a moment. It usually doesn't turn out well.

The uttered part of a man's life, let us always repeat, bears to the unuttered, unconscious part a small unknown proportion. He himself never knows it, much less do others.

I am a travelling salesman. I deal in ideas.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.