A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go.

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.

It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!

The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs.

All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening.

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it.

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing.

At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's.

To all things clergic I am allergic.

One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated.

The tiniest of actions is always better than the boldest of intentions,

We are unique not by comparison but by compassion (the moral of my book The Cheetah and the Snail)

The acts of observing and judging are necessarily solitary acts.

Baba always used to say that as we age, things change, we become more rigid, and then eventually, most of us, become forgiving again. He called it the cycle of life.

Just being out of the house with Daddy like this at Fisher's lights me up enough for somebody to read by me.

Happy is the man whom the Muses love: sweet speech flows from his mouth.

It's one thing to make lemonade out of lemons, another to proclaim that lemons are what you'd hope for in the first place.

I'm a fairly undisciplined writer.

They told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at - Elysian Fields!

I'm a little disappointed I didn't get fiddled with by a TSA agent at the airport. I feel unwanted. Maybe next time.