A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

I haven't been faithful to my own advice in the past. I will in the future.

I don't think lyrics need to be deep - just write whatever comes out of you. You don't need to find intense meaning in everything.

Problem solving, and I don't mean algebra, seems to be my life's work. Maybe it's everyone's life's work.

As long as you're pushing men to stay at work, you're pushing women to stay home.

When I have come to you, at last (as I have always done), I have come to peace and happiness. I come home, now, like a tired traveller, and find such a blessed sense of rest!

Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, 'You would too if your parents had named you 'Jeb.'

I worked in Toronto for two days. And by work I mean sit in a trailer for 15 hours, say two lines, and leave.

It was a conversation that I didn't want to have with my parents to say mom and dad I missed my flight.

There will grow from straws a mighty heap.

The more education a woman has, the wider the gap between men's and women's earnings for the same work.