A hotel mini bar allows you to see what a can of Pepsi will cost in twenty years.

Women say they want a man who knows what a woman's worth. That's a pimp.

When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.

The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.

Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line.

As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.

The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.

FOOVIEW (foo' view) n. The ability of a dog to inflict guilt from any angle in the room while he watches his master eat.

Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side.

It is foolish to regret anything form one's past.

People and stars are made of the same stuff.

It was like a miracle, but before our very eyes, and almost in the drawing of a breath, the whole body crumbled into dust and passed from our sight.

A low standard of prayer means a low standard of character and a low standard of service. Those alone labor effectively among men who impetuously fling themselves upward towards God.

My friends, how desperately we need to be loved and to love. With it we are creative. With it we march tirelessly. With it, and with it alone, we are able to sacrifice for others.

When people protest and are upset with a movie, it becomes a big hit. They hated Passion of The Christ, it worked out pretty well for the box office. So let's get that going.

I don’t need the factory behind me. I just need help getting my music heard.

I only listen to my music. I'm just analyzing it. Critical. Seeing what I like what I don't like. Say what I should have said. What I could say next time, what I should have said, things like that.

I think that kids have a greater capacity for processing things than we give them credit for.

If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.