A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.

I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.

I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.

Covetousness puts money above manhood. It shackles its devotee and makes him its victim. It hardens the heart and deadens the noble impulses and destroys the vital qualities of life.

If a black black cat crosses your path, it suggests that the animal is going somewhere.

I quit, and then I started again, and then I quit, and then I started again.

No compromise is possible and the victory of the democracies can only be complete with the utter defeat of the war machines of Germany and Japan.

I have to tell everyone everything that's going on. It is different once you're married, because that's sacred.

Experiment is the sole source of truth.

The U.S. Armed Forces are the best trained, best equipped fighting forces in the world.

All of us want to have meaning in our lives and want to feel like we're doing something that makes a difference. I believe we're doing that in the Justice Department.

The office of the scholar is to cheer, to raise, and to guide men by showing them facts amidst appearances.

I do believe motion pictures are the significant art form of our time. And I think the main reason is, they're an art form of movement, as opposed to static art forms of previous times.