A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.

Enjoy your life today because yesterday had gone and tomorrow may never come

I sometimes wonder if the manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.

Democracy consists of choosing your dictators, after they've told you what you think it is you want to hear.

There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?

Television is more interesting than people. If it were not we should have people standing in the corner of our room.

Strictly speaking, the land does not exist; it is merely dehydrated sea.

Malta is the only country in the world where the local delicacy is the bread.

Being a personality is not the same thing as having a personality.

All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.

Having lost the last war, they are currently enjoying a "Wirtschaftswunder," which can be briefly translated as "The best way to own a Mercedes is to build one."

Boredom can be a lethal thing on a small island.

It all starts with you, and that which never starts, also finishes with you.

My past is ahead of me because I am beyond my past.

In many ways the rise of the state was the descent of the world from freedom to slavery

Problem with an old friend who is too busy: he always perceives you as if never changed.

People, please remember that I choose my words very carefully. Assumptions are your enemy.

Marriage is a duet or duel.

A romantic comedy has to be funny and make you think about life; but the obstacle that has to be overcome is key.

It was from this experience came his oft-repeated belief that every man has but one destiny.

A symbol serves to combine heart and intellect.