A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

God is, even though the whole world deny him. Truth stands, even if there be no public support. It is self-sustained.

No religion, I'm just so explicit, I coexist in places you would never know existed.

For me, there's a fine line between telling a story that's fictional with lots of details and then removing yourself too much from it, so it's bloodless, a little too fictional.

So much of what you take for granted is the bedrock of happiness.

The forest of Compiegne. Look at it. Like a kind grandmother dozing in her rocking chair. Old trees practicing curtsies in the wind because they still think Louis XIV is king.

I'll dance to anything: Bob Marley or rap.

I learned that the world doesn't want to be saved, and it will f**king punch you in the face if you try.

And they die an equal death — the idler and the man of mighty deeds.

I call tennis the McDonald's of sport - you go in, they make a quick buck out of you, and you're out.

Because I have so much life on my pitches, I can get away with getting too much of the plate every now and then.