A joke isn't yours. It's used and you don't know where it's been.

The best advice I've ever received is, 'No one else knows what they're doing either.

I've never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don't sit on a wall, if you're an egg.

The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.

When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

I am not a wolf in sheep's clothing, I'm a wolf in wolf's clothing.

Famous people are above the law.

Enjoy life. Have fun. Be kind. Have worth. Have friends. Be honest. Laugh. Die with dignity. Make the most of it. It's all we've got.

It's better to create something that others criticise than to create nothing and criticise others. Go create, have fun!!

Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.

Telling someone with depression to pull themselves together is about as useful as telling someone with cancer to just stop having cancer

He advised that I could invest in stocks to make money. Given that I have a negative balance, that was where the conversation stopped.

Because an illusion is an illusion. Reality always exists despite the facade.

Treat your anger with the utmost respect and tenderness, for it is no other than yourself.

Beauty is my heritage, but home decor is very much my passion.

The only true solution would be a convention under which all the governments would bind themselves to defend collectively any country that was attacked.

We may have civilized bodies and yet barbarous souls.

Something magical happened when I turned 25 - I looked in the mirror and was like, 'You might not get carded for an R-rated movie anymore.' Like I didn't have a little stick figure anymore.

Vehicular traffic is completely forbidden in the green strips, where tranquility shall reign and the curse of noise shall not penetrate.

Much female conversation is, in fact, about survival - but in code.

I'm just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over.