A kid came up to me the other day and said, 'Hey, you're the guy on Scrubs!' Kid, I am Scrubs, and don't you forget it.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Searching outside of you is Samsara (the world). Searching within you leads to Nirvana.

I love to hear the story of how stars sacrifice their life to receive only one memorable kiss from the Earth.

Our only kiss was like an accident- a beautiful gasoline rainbow.

In the divorce my ex got everything. Even kept her composure.

I like Mercedes because my wife has been in two big accidents and emerged without a scratch, thanks to the safety of these cars.

The ultimate solution to the race problem lies in the willingness of men to obey the unenforceable.

To succeed, find the right rut and stay with it.

Every right is married to a duty, every freedom owes a corresponding responsibility.

Some of the best people i know are fools', Evanelle said. 'The strongest people I know.

There's only one way to succeed in anything, and that is to give it everything.