A lady is nothing very specific. One man's lady is another man's woman; sometimes, one man's lady is another man's wife. Definitions overlap but they almost never coincide.

Ragtime was a fanfare for the 20th century.

Camouflage is a game we all like to play, but our secrets are as surely revealed by what we want to seem to be as by what we want to conceal.

Camouflage is a game we all like to play

No author dislikes to be edited as much as he dislikes not to be published.

It is always well to accept your own shortcomings with candor but to regard those of your friends with polite incredulity.

The true snob never rests; there is always a higher goal to attain, and there are, by the same token, always more and more people to look down upon.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Tennis is an addiction that once it has truly hooked a man will not let him go.

Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn't have given you worse advice.

Remember that each light between sunrise and sunset is worth dying for at least once.

There's a place for farts, and there's a place for sharts.

Do not close your heart against all my efforts to help you.

When you give of yourself, it's draining.

If we wait for the danger to become clear, it could be too late.

The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.

In matters of religion, it is very easy to deceive a man and very hard to undeceive him.

Stop trying to impress people with your clothes and impress them with your life.

By thought, the thing you want is brought to you. By action, you receive it

For my own part, I shall be glad to learn of noble men.