A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

If you are in hard times, ask yourself: “What would this problem and my life mean to people two hundred years from now?

Decorate your birthday with love and memories not with years.

The physical world is entirely abstract and without actuality apart from its linkage to consciousness.

If everybody is doing it one way, there's a good chance you can find your niche by going exactly in the opposite direction.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I twice failed rather disgracefully.

All of us are living with dogmas that we accept as truths. When one of these is overturned, there's an initial gasp, soon followed by a rush of exhilaration.

We set the standard of how we want to be treated. Our relationships are reflections of the relationships we have with ourselves.

He who can turn negative situations into something positive, has learned the law of transformation, his mind empowers life.

When people ask me that, I say I don't want to be remembered. It means I'm no longer around.

I would that there was nothing in the world But my beloved that night and day had perished, And all that is and all that is to be, All that is not the meeting of our lips.