A lawyer from Africa wants to marry Malia Obama in exchange for goats, sheep, and cows. In response, President Obama said, 'Don't be ridiculous. My daughter isn't marrying a lawyer.'

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

how is it thathe's alwaysin my thoughts. even when i am not thinking.

Roses are red, Violettes are bllue, Valentines day is consumerous crap, now don't you have ironing to do"Unlikely thing to read in a valentines day card

We are a psychic process which we do not control, or only partly direct. Consequently, we cannot have any final judgment about ourselves or our lives.

There's an expectation these days that novels - like any other consumer product - should be made on a production line, with one dropping from the conveyor belt every couple of years.

Christianity supplies a Hell for the people who disagree with you and a Heaven for your friends.

Only mediocre ideas can be tested.

Secrets of the cosmos will begin to unravel. I, for one, can't wait.

I always say, "If you see something is wrong in your neighborhood, go ahead and change it. Don't wait for somebody else to do it." This is pretty much what I do.

I have never compared myself to anyone, but it's hard to resist him!!

The organic fundamental error of humanism was that it desired to educate the common people (on whom it looked down) from its lofty stance instead of trying to understand them and to learn from them.