A leader’s first duty is to look after his or her people, especially those who are sick, hungry, or thirsty.

A good friend is someone who gets ya drunk and then walks ya home afterwards.

If the only option you leave poor people with is to resort to violence in order to survive, they’ll do just that. And there are lots more poor people in this world than there are rich ones.

A joke is a witticism or play on words that’s meant to be funny. I say ‘meant to be’ because most jokes aren’t funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying.

You shouldn’t say mean things to people before they kill you. It’s being a sore loser.

Let them come. We’ve got helicopters, tanks, jets, and big guns. We’ve got armies of robots. What do they have but their stench and the squalor they live in?

There’s a big difference between being numb to something and being immune to it.

Well you know what they say. It’s always raining somewhere.

You’ll find a way. You’ll always find a way. And on the rare occasions when you can’t, you’ll have friends who will.

We all end up dying in the end. It’s just a question of how and when.

As far as I know, there’s nothing more dangerous than a man who doesn’t care if he lives or dies.

I moved in front of the medicine cabinet. If I looked in the mirror while I did it, it would be like watching somebody else, in a book or a play.

I try to convince myself that it's the alcohol talking. But alcohol can't talk. It just sits there. It can't even get itself out of the bottle.

Every new time will give its law.

I love the opportunity to shoot digital because you can shoot so many takes, it's really malleable, it's a ton of fun, and it is easy.

America is a young country with an old mentality.

If anything, being a female has afforded me opportunities on YouTube that I necessarily didn't have in doing traditional comedy and auditioning in TV and film, and that whole world.

My leadership began to take flight when I allowed myself to press people to change-whether they thanked me or cursed me.

I enter the world called real as one enters a mist.

A star for every State, and a State for every star.

The entire universe is nothing but a great metaphor.