A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live show.

But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.

When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

I've always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who's really funny.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Everybody has their favorite character.That's the only way I pick, whatever is going on in society, whatever I think folks will laugh at that's what I come up with.

I started in a business background, but then it was like, 'you know, I can't do math,' so I changed it to a liberal arts degree and got my Bachelor of Arts in Communications and it made sense.

I've got an answer to where Osama bin Laden is and I know, he's dead and living in my suitcase with my dummies.'

I used to pick Priuses out of the grill of my Hummer.

Art should be seen with the heart, not with the eyes, for its beauty is in the energy it radiates.

Any thing or behavior too complex to understand becomes a phenomenon that could be termed spiritual or magical.

There are no veterans, only survivors.

People grew lazy. They knew too many blessings, and so lost the ability to appreciate what they had

Every question I'd ever had God answered and still continues to answer every one I have today. It's really amazing what God can do.

I don't like to treat a piece of clothing like an object of art because I don't consider myself an artist. I'm a designer.

Poetry is the thread that leads us out of the labyrinth of despair and into the light.

The determination to outwit one's situation means that one has no models, only object lessons.

Mexico is always cheering for me, always showing great support.

We cannot perform our tasks to the best of our power, unless we think well of our own capacity.