A lot of panel programmes rely on men topping each other, or sparring with each other, which is not generally a very female thing.

I've never understood the point of ecstasy. I think if I wanted to get dehydrated and jump about with a load of people I've never met before I could go to a Methodist barn dance.

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television.

I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don't know who got my moped, but I drove that Peugeot for years.

I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.

Life's not fair, is it? Some of us drink champagne in the fast lane, and some of us eat our sandwiches by the loose chippings on the A597.

All my friends started getting boyfriends, but I didn't want a boyfriend, I wanted a thirteen-colour biro.

On a train, why do I always end up sitting next to the woman who's eating the individual fruit pie by sucking the filling out through the hole in the middle?

I can remember when pants were pants. You wore them for twenty years, then you cut them down for pan scrubs. Or quilts.

In Russia, show the least athletic aptitude and they've got you dangling off the parallel bars with a leotard full of hormones.

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down - and a woman is designed to say, 'you took your time' when he comes back dripping wet.

The books that everybody admires are those that nobody reads.

Imagine repeating the power words ‘love’ or ‘happiness’ for five minutes twice a day for the rest of your life, amazing things could happen.

.......Love is such a biological feeling, which kills, without killing you biologically.

You become good at what you practise, basketball, anger or compassion, it is up to you!

Well, they say there is no real faith without doubt.

Fear-filled words will defeat you, but faith-filled words will put you over!

The Sherpas play a very important role in most mountaineering expeditions, and in fact many of them lead along the ridges and up to the summit.

What helped me most were my failures and slumps - when I couldn't get work, people weren't interested in me or had written me off.

Never forget the importance of living with unbridled exhilaration.

As long as there are annoying people in the world, I won't run out of material.