A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.

I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.

You always pass failure on the way to success.

Dont retire - inspire...Theres a lot to be done

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

Look, I come from vaudeville, I come from burlesque, I come from heartaches, I come from sadness, I come from gladness, I come from work and sweat and respect for the craft.

I hear Jerry Falwell every Sunday here talking about the devil and Hollywood. . . . I'm gonna write him a letter. Hollywood wasn't built on filth and dirt - it was built on talent.

I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more.

Life is an infiltration course. We all try and get through it. We all try and get through it unscathed - maybe not hurt, not bruised. No bones broken, maybe a few hearts here and there.

And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.

Someone once asked me what I want on my epitaph when I pass away. Just the words 'I tried.' That's what this game of life is all about. Trying. There's the tryers, the criers, and the liars.

The man who'll lay the last stone here isn't even born yet.

Resolve to be thyself and know that who finds himself loses his misery.

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth.

At the bottom, the elimination of spyware and the preservation of privacy for the consumer are critical goals if the Internet is to remain safe and reliable and credible.

By putting myself out there the way I've been doing people see me as a real person. Even though I do character voices and funny noises the stories are still real and I put them all out there.

Everything is hard before it is easy.

You are all things. Denying, rejecting, judging or hiding from any aspect of your total being creates pain and results in a lack of wholeness.

If this was a normal cover for a normal book,I would tell it's FANTASTIC!GRIPPING! (according to all book covers they're fantastic and gripping)

Yes, I did bite the head off of a dove. Yes, I did bite the head off of a bat. It's a stupid thing to do, but I did it.

I want you to know how I feel about my Italian heritage, so I'd like to say a few words in Italian: Verdi, Pavarotti, DiMaggio, Valentino, De Niro, Giuliani. . .