A lot of people have warned President Clinton that Bosnia will turn into another Vietnam, which would be embarrassing for him because he'll have to go back to college.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Let the world feel your compassion: Help save kidnapped Yazidi females!

Believing in religion is like believing that adulthood is the solution to childhood.

Wrinkles should only indicate where smiles have been.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree, ' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare.

Sometimes, I think the only art left for us is slowly peeling the label off a beer bottle while somebody tells you about a dream they had.

How we speak to our children and the words we use can encourage and uplift them and strengthen their faith.

Given a rich environment, learning becomes like the air—it’s in and around us.

Discipline is the mark of intelligent living.

If the devil cannot keep you from being saved, if next he fails to make you backslide, then he undertakes to keep you just an average Christian. Here he succeeds with most believers.