A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Beauty is important, but who you are in your heart defines you better.

Perfectionists are patient, the diligent are persevering, and the relentless are successful.

Vast skies in the Australian desertwaves that don't movewe slide surf glide like condors

He laughed and it sounded startled and a bit rusty, as if he didn't do that very often.

With grace and a keen appreciation of human nature, Nicholas Thompson has written a revealing, moving history of the Cold War through two fascinating men.

Without a notion of the transcendental, human beings would, indeed, be animals; however, only fools can be convinced of it, and only degenerates need such a conviction.

You are adrift while you still think that a means is an end.

Silence is sorrow's best food.

(J)ust because your version of normal isn't the same as someone else's version doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you.

Questioners sooner or later end up in a library... And answers are dangerous; they kill your wonder.