A lottery is a tax on stupidity.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The only good is knowledge, and the only evil is ignorance.

It takes a certain courage and a certain greatness to be truly base.

I got lost in him, and it was the kind of lost that's exactly like being found.

All we have to see is that I don't belong to you, and you don't belong to me.

Clarity comes from action, not thought.

I had much rather be adorned by beauty of character than by jewels. Jewels are the gift of fortune, character comes from within.

Being an opener is all about warming up the audience for the main band. That is always fun, pretty easy; there isn't a lot of pressure.

The art of teaching is clarity and the art of learning is to listen.

So the question rises: How much liberty can you get away with? Well, you get no more liberty than you give!

I do not like Melbourne in its present state.