A lover's a liar, To himself he lies, The truthful are loveless, Like oysters their eyes!

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Show me the man you honor and I will know what kind of man you are.

When you are in love nothing matters except the bliss of love.

Butt holes are like a one-way street

It was important to tell people. To let people know that this can happen. Your child's body can stop. Stop breathing, stop beating.

He’s suffering from Politician’s Logic. Something must be done, this is something, therefore we must do it.

I can take care of a house, and some people I meet, I think, 'You don't even know how to make a bed.

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Basically, this guy was a saint, so we drink.

To be honest, you have to do a big Hollywood film to get enough money to do a good independent film!

I almost die for food, and let me have it!