A man feared that he might find an assassin

I have these visions of myself being thirty, thirty-five, forty having a family.

Sometimes all you need is a big leap of faith.

Probably 90 percent of my albums have polka medleys.

I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

What comes from a book is knowledge. What comes from the heart is wisdom.

Aphorism, n.: A concise, clever statement you don’t think of until too late.

I used to want to be tall, and then I thought, 'If I were tall, then people would say I was pretty and not cute.' And then I realized that there are worse things than being called cute.

I take my work seriously but I can't take myself too seriously. I'm in such a crazy privileged position.

Had not almost every man suffered by the Press, or were not the tyranny thereof become universal, I had not wanted reason for complaint.

Doing what you want to do is life.