A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

For you to be great, you must become conscious of what you are doing per time.

With faith, you can find your fate.

The terrible poverty of pride is that there is nothing that can be taken in selfishness which will exceed what is received when nothing is expected and everything is offered.

They forget that for a Creator to create, He must be greater than His creation, thus He must be by definition not less than emotional.

It is only necessary to destroy in oneself the roots of those motives which determine a man's course, in order to enjoy the omnipotence and immunity of a god.

We love peace, as we abhor pusillanimity; but not peace at any price.

I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you. I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

I always wanted to play the boyfriends of doomed girls.

Soul, if you want to learn secrets,
 your heart must forget about shame
 and dignity. You are God's lover,
 yet you worry what people are saying.

Discovery should come as an adventure rather than as the result of a logical process of thought.