A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

The free-lance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

There is no such place as Budapest. Perhaps you are thinking of Bucharest, and there is no such place as Bucharest, either.

One who does not deserve your tears does not deserve your heart.

I hold on to faith and hope.

What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? That she was beautiful. And brilliant. That she loved Mozart and Bach. And the Beatles. And me.

If you talk about people that lie, this Ted Cruz, this is the biggest liar I've ever seen.

We're given a code to live our lives by. We don't always follow it, but it's still there.

The most painful things and the most happy things in life usually come from love. As a result of love or the lack of it.

Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.

In the past a man was expected to give his seat on a bus to a woman. Today it would be much more courteous for that man to give her his job.

You get what you earn.

Faith means intense, usually confident, belief that is not based on evidence sufficient to command assent from every reasonable person.