A man should keep his little brain attic stocked with all the furniture that he is likely to use and the rest he can put away in the lumber-room of his library where he can get it if he wants it.

A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.

Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.

Where there is no imagination there is no horror.

The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.

It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.

It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.

Life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent.

I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.

London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistibly drained.

When the impossible has been eliminated, all that remains no matter how improbable is possible.

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar

No matter how many times I've thought that the worst is behind us, something else always happens to remind me that the worst is yet to come.

We've never been people that go around and confront people that have been financially successful and say, 'We hate you. We envy you because of how well you're doing.'

Politics swings like a pendulum.

In a bad marriage, friends are the invisible glue. If we have enough friends, we may go on for years, intending to leave, talking about leaving -instead of actually getting up and leaving.

First coffee, then a bowel movement. Then the Muse joins me.

We use books like mirrors, gazing into them only to discover ourselves.

Even when there’s a straight path in front of us, we, unfortunately, and foolishly, turn right~ around and it’s after that we realize it.

If I can sleep in until 9 A.M. - wow, what a luxury.

I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.