A man who is an agnostic by inheritance, so that he doesn't remember any time that he wasn't, has almost no hatred for the religious.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Ya got cigarettes?” she asks. “Yes, ” I say, “I got cigarettes.” “Matches?” she asks.“Enough to burn Rome.” “Whiskey?”“Enough whiskey for a Mississippi River of pain.” “You drunk?” “Not yet.

A purpose is more like a positive daily-grind, with gratitude and a smile.

Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.

There is one advantage to having nothing, it never needs repair.

Preserve my artistic creativity and ennoble my artistic fame.

There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking.

I'm from the Mississippi delta originally.

Everybody loves me, babies, dogs, ya know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal.

Who but a physicist, in the research lab or the corporation, could mix and match multiple ideas, models, technologies from different disciplines and thrive on change and new ideas...?

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!