A man who says he can see through a woman is missing a lot.-Groucho Marx A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

No truer word, save God's, was ever spoken, Than that the largest heart is soonest broken.

What kind of society isn't structured on greed? The problem of social organization is how to set up an arrangement under which greed will do the least harm capitalism is that kind of a system.

It's always been eclectic; you never know what you're going to get.

You are the guy who'll decide where to go.

Life is just too short to go quail hunting with the wrong people.

If you're not pissed off with the World, you're just not paying attention.

Jesus is my forgiver, my leader, and my friend.

A Course in Miracles tells us that although 'we think that without the ego, all would be chaos, the opposite is true. Without the ego, all would be love.'

Ever since I first used a computer in the early '80s, I've thought of it as a fundamentally new medium for the dissemination of ideas which can transform people's lives and the society we live in.

A just person knows how to secure his own reputation without blemishing another's by exposing his faults.