A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

It’s clearly a budget. It’s got lots of numbers in it.

She was like a landscape you see from the train, and you want to stop just there.

I always thought that life was about standing your ground, no matter how strong the current was. But going with the flow isn't so bad after all. As long as it takes you forward.

Some place the bliss in action, some in ease, Those call it pleasure, and contentment these.

Using tax payers' money to provide liquidity to Wall Street so that the country wouldn't head into a depression was the right decision, in my judgment.

The negative cautions of science are never popular.

We love being on tour. It's what we do, what we're all about, and we enjoy doing that more than anything.

You shouldn't eat animals, it's mean to them.

So many of the problems we have today are because people don't respect the beliefs of others.