A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

Why is it when we were kids we looked up at the stars... But now they seem to be looking down on us...?

Misery, like yoga, is not a competitive sport

I will a round unvarnish'd tale deliver.

Have the passion and the magic will happen

I am absolutely convinced that religion is the main source of hatred in this world.

Imagine that the gods have a care for everything that lives in the community of life on earth.

I'm not a pop song lyric writer. I can't just focus on one simple meaning or even a double entendre.

Morality is probably the last thing one can learn from football.

My dad was an engineer and so I had this picture of science and technology and pursuits of the mind as being more impressive than artistic pursuits, which I saw a as kind of frivolous.

Embrace change, even when the change slaps you in the face.