A musicologist is a man who can read music but cannot hear it.

The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.

They are quite hopeless - drooling, driveling, doleful, depressing, dropsical drips.

Composers should write tunes that chauffeurs and errand boys can whistle.

The trouble with women in an orchestra is that if they're attractive it will upset my players and if they're not it will upset me.

"Have you heard any Stockhausen?" Beecham was asked. "No, but I believe I have stepped in some."

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

The sound of a harpsichord - two skeletons copulating on a tin roof in a thunderstorm.

Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory.

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between.

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.

Small children can be startled by the most mundane of noises. A car door from a distance can sound like the sky falling down when heard for the very first time.

In the ant's house the dew is a flood.

I always have said that the most valuable thing I have isn't money it's my time.

For me, Jesus is my cleft in the rock. He is my safest friend, my safe totally loving accepting big brother.

Of course there's objective truth, but when we're looking at people's accounts of it, it seems the real truth lies in the accretion of all these different versions.

I also believe that if you're really a writer, you'll write, and that nobody could stop you.

In general, I don't know when inspiration will pop up.

I believe realism is nothing but an analysis of reality. Film scripts have a synthetical constitution.

Why should the Marquis de Cussy wage war on soup? I cannot understand a dinner without it. I hold soup to be the well beloved of the stomach.

When things don't work well in the bedroom, they don't work well in the living room either.