A new presidential poll reveals that Democrats have the edge among voters under 30. The good news for Republicans is that there's only six people under 30 who actually vote.

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: 'Duh.'

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.

A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but they prefer to watch you die.

I have an abacus at home.

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Santa will be showing up with Rudolph the Red-Eyed Reindeer.

After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair has a new show on Animal Planet.

Republicans have called for a National African-American Museum. The plan is being held up by finding a location that isn't in their neighborhood.

The idea that I might not-- in an earlier era, or a different country-- have a choice in the matter seems both emotionally and physically barbaric.

We should have no regrets. ... The past is finished. There is nothing to be gained by going over it. Whatever it gave us in the experiences it brought us was something we had to know.

There is also a concern that there is a lack of demand of oil. And so when commodity prices fall, it's good if you happen to be a consumer, but it's sometimes seen as symptom of a weakening economy.

In civilized life, law floats in a sea of ethics.

A decadent civilization compromises with its disease, cherishes the virus infecting it, loses its self-respect.

Each human personality is like a piece of music, having an individual tone and a rhythm of its own.

We have to admit that, notwithstanding all the efforts in which governments and peoples have participated, no corresponding change has been wrought in the aspect of the world's armaments.

You know what Ken Lay had for breakfast this morning? Shredded Wheat.

I'm not knocking the poor homosexual, I'm not. They need salvation just like anybody else.

I hope that in 5 years from now I'll be working and doing what makes me happy. Whatever that may be.