A new regulation for the publishing industry: "The advance for a book must be larger than the check for the lunch at which it was discussed.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

Jesus Christ opened heaven’s door for us by His death on the cross.

The best conversation I had was over forty million years ago, ' continued Marvin.Again the pause. 'Oh d—''And that was with a coffee machine.' He waited.

Choices are easy when you have nothing to lose.

Simplification is as much in the mind as it is in the device.

Children become what they are told they are.

People create the reality they need in order to discover themselves

I view my hair and clothes as functional art.

Amateurs hope. Professional work.

Virtue tested: "Have I not survived hunger and thirst, suffering, and mockery for the sake of the truth which heaven has awakened in my heart?