A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

We need space to be productive, we need places to go to be free.

Reading a book is an intimate experience that can change people's lives in profound ways. It also changes the life of its author.

Rock'n'roll is not red carpets and MySpace friends, rock'n'roll is dangerous and should piss people off

I love discordancy. It makes people ill at ease and wakes up a part of their brain that's normally asleep.

When you're 19, getting a girl to say yes, or being a dog, or being a player, cheating. Consent is all about - for me, back then - if you can get a girl to say yes, you win.

A frog would leap from a throne of gold into a puddle.

Travel in all the four quarters of the earth, you will find nothing (no true religion) anywhere. Whatever there is, is only here (i .e . in one 's own heart.)

There is a kind of universality in the human condition, masculine or feminine. That's one thing I continue to believe.

I had no interest in really becoming an actress or doing that kind of thing I just knew that I wanted to do something in making films.

My yardstick is how somebody treats me.