A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Through the eyes of the brave, the future makes past tense perfect sense.

A child's death isn't always necessary for a mother to grieve.

It seems to me that since I've had children I've grown richer and deeper. They may have slowed down my writing for a while but when I did write I had more of a self to speak from.

When we have machines that are as intelligent - and then twice as intelligent - as we are, there is no reason why that relationship cannot be synergistic rather than antagonistic.

Say planet rock, it's a sure shot.

There's no limit possible to the expansion of each one of us.

We're blessed to be worrying about the silly things that we worry about when people are worrying about where they are going to sleep, and what they are going to feed their kids every day.

When I was a little kid, I kind of liked the commercials more than a lot of the stuff on TV. My favorite ones were the Miller Lite ads with all the jocks in them. "Tastes great, less filling."

I love what I do and I love being an athlete, but I also love all the things that have come with it.

Are you seeing anyone romantically?" he inquired. "No, I'm not," she replied. "Good. Please keep it that way. Because I intend to ask you to marry me.