A person who uses party as a verb is a person who will walk into a shop and walk out wearing a rubber jumpsuit.

Dogs are us, only innocent.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.

Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.

Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.

we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.

Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.

The only women who don't believe that sexual harassment is a real problem in this country are women who have never been in the workplace.

The legal system has been designed by governments and corporations to protect them from the common people.

I just wish insignificance had more stature.

The poet sees things as they look. Is this having a faculty the less? or a sense the more?

Mexico is offering a $3.8 million reward for information leading to the capture of the escaped billionaire drug lord, El Chapo. Mexico said they'll get the money by borrowing it from El Chapo.

Not many people could juggle graduate school and two jobs.

There's no diploma in the world that declares you as an artist—it's not like becoming a doctor. You can declare yourself an artist and then figure out how to be an artist.

Anxiety is not to be managed it is a sin that needs to be repented of

The beat generation is a coffeehouse full of people expectantly looking at their watches waiting for the beat generation to come on.

We all start with zero. We all start at the beginning. Do not give up.

It's often the case with successful TV shows that they kind of inadvertently live on past their prime. It's best to leave the audience wanting more.