A pope going through a faith crisis would be funny to see.

I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.

My doctor told me i had Attention Deficit Disorder. He said, 'ADD is a complex disorder, blah, blah, blah,' I didn't pay attention to the rest.

I have a swastika tattoo on my arm, but it's just because I like right-hand turns.

I think a bird is the worst present you can give somebody because it's guilt-ridden. This animal has the gift of flight, and you put it in a cage and watch it not do that until it dies.

I love doing different things where, for a little while, I can focus on standup then sketch writing, then performing, then directing a video. That, to me, is stimulating.

I like to edit; I like to work with other people, and that's something stand-up doesn't really have.

Very specifically, Nickelodeon is aimed at eight- and nine-year-olds.

Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year, a dad gets stuck and dies.

My big influences are piano artists like Billy Joel and Elton John.

I believe in a higher consciousness. I also believe that nature is supremely conscious. A tree is more conscious than we are.

the apathy and inattention of the average citizen is beyond comprehension.

Beauty is the harmony of purpose and form.

Mental Toughness is doing the right thing for the team when it's not the best thing for you.

No! no arresting the vast wheel of time, That round and round still turns with onward might, Stern, dragging thousands to the dreaded night Of an unknown hereafter.

Now I believe I can hear the philosophers protesting that it can only be misery to live in folly, illusion, deception and ignorance, but it isn't -it's human.

Crying is personal. On the other hand, laughing is more general . Laughing makes our hearts wider.

I rather would prefer to see the movie theatrically, which I have the ability to do.

I don't see how anybody starts a novel without knowing how it's going to end. I usually make detailed outlines: how many chapters it will be and so forth.

Ninety percent of politics is deciding whom to blame.