A popular writer writes about what people think. A wise writer offers them something to think about.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Life gives you exactly what you need to awaken.

Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet.

Know when to push, pull & hold your followers, lest you push them while on the edge of a cliff

The definition of a good mathematical problem is the mathematics it generates rather than the problem itself.

The current Michigan Constitution was written in 1961 and 62.

Of all facial expressions, which is the worst to have aimed at you? Wouldn't you agree it's disgust?

I'm not brave at all.

Time will tell. Time is always telling. Time never stops telling.

You obey Wade Barrett's orders and you disrespect every person who has ever been champion. Including yourself.

My great-aunt. . . . said nobody under 18 had any business reading Dickens. . . . She was right.