A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

Television is a triumph of equipment over people, and the minds that control it are so small that you could put them in a gnat's navel with room left over for two caraway seeds and an agent's heart.

Belief about God is religion. Belief in God is faith.

It was when I saw Iggy Pop, that's what did it for me. That changed my life pretty much.

We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.

Our media are completely lost in a wilderland of moral equivalence, eagerly prostituting themselves to monsters and terrorists.

When the working day is done, girls they just want to have fun.

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.

Beauty vanishes; virtue is lasting.

For an adult, eating alone at McDonald's is admitting a kind of defeat.

Why does God allow evil in the world? To thicken the plot.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.