A push-and-go wooden duck on wheels can cause quite a lot of damage if wielded with enough force.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Are you ready for the God that dwells in your heart ?

For me ignorant is not illiterate or public, but is trying to review his culture ...You have to run away from them, they did not care what they read, but a number of what they read ...

Despair has its own calms.

Everybody hates a prodigy, detests an old head on young shoulders.

It's bizarre. In middle school, I thought girls were running away from me, so when they ask for a picture now, I'm like, 'Really, what?!'

Nobody's gonna be bigger than Eminem.

Say what you mean. Say what you see. Make a photograph, if you can, for the reader.

I love nerdy work. I love writing notes. I try to go back, as much as I can, to feed what happens and why they do what they do.

Obviously a Conservative government will always leave taxes lower than they have been under Labour. Those things go with the territory of the Conservative Party.

Experience is a good teacher, but her fees are very high.